The Days Go On...

And on...

The good news is that Mr. C had a peaceful night. He still has a slight fever, he's still on oxygen. They started IV fluids today since he hasn't had anything to eat or drink since yesterday and was dehydrating a bit and not producing any urine. The last thing he needs is worsening kidney function. (Mental note, ask about kidney function study today).

I didn't think he'd make it through the night but I'm glad to hear he rested well. I'm so terrified at his outcome now. This is just not what he would want but he isn't done for just yet. Nothing invasive has been done, nothing will be either. I'm sure I'll be talking to the cardiologists again today, but I'm not sure they'll be able to do much more medication-wise. That's been their plan of action, knowing that he wouldn't want to have a risky procedure with an uncertain outcome. I'm still torn - should I give him the better chance of long-term survival, or just ride this wave until the end. Because as of right now, I'd say he's not going to rehab, he's not probably leaving the hospital for a while.

It shocked me somewhat to go into the CCU room. It reminded me so vividly of seeing my grandmother in a CCU room when I went to visit her, just after Elizabeth was born in 2002. I remember that she was on a ventilator and never thought I'd see that type of place again. He's not on a ventilator, nor will he ever be. My grandmother's wishes weren't known or I would have seen to that. She ended up dying a few months later, after a long and painful recovery. I won't put my grandfather through that. I just hope he can see how close to seeing my grandmother he really is. And how happy, what joy that must feel like, to know that your loved one is so close now. I hope that if I ever die, that I can focus on that. So many people he's lost, friends, his brother, his dear parents, his lovely wife - all stand ready to greet him in heaven along with the angels. Sad, yes. I'm so sad to think of this being the end. Maybe it's not. But at the same time, it seems so exciting to be near such a change of scenery.

I went back to visit later this evening and when I got there, my heart sank. They have him on 100% oxygen now with a mask. His O2 sat is still hovering in the low 90's and he's still laboring when he breathes. His blood pressure is up and his urine output improved. The chest x-ray had been read but not scanned so his dear nurse (same as last night) apologized but said that from her interpretation of the reading, it sounds like he may have some fluid in his lungs. They are watching him very closely tonight, hoping that when he actually falls asleep he'll relax and breathe better.

I know it's not good when tonight, he asked my why his hip hurt so bad. I reminded him of the fall, and he seemed to buy my answer, yet again.